Being a ‘Cool Sports Parent’: 10 Top Tips
With the glorious summer weather here, our Holmwood House pupils are buzzing with excitement, showcasing their talents across all the fantastic summer sports on offer! We often get asked by parents how they can best support their children’s our children in their sporting endeavours. So, we’ve tapped into the wisdom of our very own tennis coach, Rob Twyman, who has kindly shared his top tips for becoming a truly ‘cool sports parent’.
1. Embrace Mistakes as Learning Opportunities
It’s crucial that your child understands mistakes are an integral part of learning. Make sure they feel comfortable making errors, and, perhaps even more importantly, that you are comfortable with them doing so. That’s how real growth happens!
2. Encourage Bravery and Exploration
Give your child the freedom to try new things without fear. Learning can be messy and unpredictable, and it looks different for every child. Encourage them to be brave and embrace the process, even when it’s not straightforward.
3. Praise the Effort, Not Just the ‘Gift’ – Be the Best at Things that Require Zero Talent
Focus your praise on the journey – their effort, positive attitude, resilience, kindness, humility. Help them to “be the best” at things that require zero talent – being punctual, having the right kit, listening, being a good team mate. This helps them understand that success comes from hard work and character, rather than an innate, unchangeable talent.
4. Give Feedback Thoughtfully
Resist the urge to give feedback immediately during or right after a game or practice. Let the dust settle for a few days. Then, you can have a positive conversation, highlighting things they did well and areas for improvement.
5. Simply Say, ‘I Loved Watching You Play’
After a match or practice, a simple and powerful statement is: “I loved watching you play today.” Then, go enjoy an ice cream and let the match fade into the background. It’s about the experience, not just the outcome.
6. Compare Them Only to Themselves
Avoid comparing your child to others. You never truly know what goes on behind the scenes with other families. Instead, encourage them to compare their current self to who they were a month or two ago. This fosters accountability for their own learning and highlights the true joy in personal progress.
7. Winning is the Icing, Not the Cake
Help your child understand that winning is “the icing on the cake.” The real reasons we play sports are for fun, exercise, spending time with friends, and improving our skills. There are countless hidden benefits beyond the score.
8. Approach Losses as Learning Days
When faced with a loss, offer supportive comments like, “You have great days and then you have learning days.” Remind them of the core reasons they participate in sports, keeping perspective firmly in mind.
9. Stay Calm on the Sidelines
If you find yourself getting stressed while watching, take a deep breath and step away. Shouting from the sidelines is rarely effective; data shows children hear very little of what’s yelled. So, chill out and keep it all in perspective.
10. Sport is Part of Their Identity, Not All of It
Rob’s biggest tip of all: don’t let your child’s identity become solely wrapped up in sport. If their entire self-worth is tied to athletic performance, a setback or loss could be devastating. Remind them they are so much more than an athlete – they are a son/daughter, a friend, a student, and so much more.
We hope these invaluable tips from Rob will help you support your child in a positive way so you can all have fun this summer!
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